BlissYu

Think Locally, Grow Globally

October 27, 2019
by Roz
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Week 4- Give more get more

Freely you have received; freely give.” Matthew 10:8b

Someone I love said something that hurt my feelings, I could have shaken that off, smiled and pretended I was fine. But beneath the surface, it lingers, festers and I withdraw myself emotionally. I treat this loved one with a frosty response.

Yes, the old blueprint has pulled in the welcome mat and slammed the door shut in my heart. I think to myself, Why should I leave myself open for more hurt?

To be honest I find it hard to overlook an offense or be overjoyed when someone gets something I secretly longed for or even be patient when I am stressed out. This is not who I want to be.

How do I change that?

Well, it starts with the law of giving and receiving, as my day starts I read how today, I am giving everyone a gift that I encounter, smiles, compliments and my pleasant demeanor. So I do it, smile at strangers, say good morning, hold open doors and guess what, this makes me feel happy, terrific and my day brightens. Wait a minute, I am supposed to be giving and making others feel good, so why do I feel good.

That is the goofy part of the law, making others feel good makes you feel good.

So today, an appointment to have my snow tires put on my car, turned into a bit of a mixup, but when I responded with grace and generosity it was met in kind, I heard those wonderful words “no charge” not only once but twice.

The more you give, the more you get, it is always flowing, so I am trusting this process because I know it was designed for my benefit by a much higher power.

October 16, 2019
by Roz
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Week 3 – Inexplicable Little Things

The solar plexus, located behind my diagram is likened to the sun of the body it is distributing energy which the body is constantly generating, I read that over and over again, and find it fascinating. As I ponder this I become aware of the cd in my car, I have been playing this particular one for months straight, on my daily drive to run errands and visit my Mom at St. Joseph Villa nursing home.. But today I hear the lyrics loud and clear

” In my plan to be myself, I became someone else,

Dreaming dreams I hardly know,

Looking through the snow,

For the path to the place that I’d come from

I am searching for the source of the sun.”

Today, I sing those words with new meaning, I see the red pencil syndrome of becoming someone else, following other people dreams and my search to find the sun and the young girl I once was full of hope (the path I come from).

Completely blew my mind, and this inexplicable thing happened out of nowhere. Then I remember as I sit perfectly still, and think, what creeps into my sleeping subconscious, I remember, last June at the hospital, standing vigil as my father slipped away, I was in the hospital gift shop and on the counter, a small charm lays there in my line of sight that reads “Be still and know…” Psalm 46:10, I am mesmerized

Have I found the source of the sun? My mind is buzzing with energy and a strange sense of synchronicity. This MKE is a wild ride. Crack off another piece of cement.

October 10, 2019
by Roz
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Week 2 -Grateful

This weekend is Thanksgiving here in Canada.

What am I thankful for, I am grateful my mom is in a great nursing home.

I am thankful for the splendor of the fall colors, I have found two places that take my breath away, the brilliant red mixed with orange, I just stand and stare, pause and reflect, how lucky am I to live here in Sudbury.

This week has been about the pause, observe and reflect.

I now know I can attach any feeling I want to any situation I am confronted with, I choose.

I have decided  to practice patience  with my  92-year-old Mom  who refuses to wear her hearing aids because she is not deaf.  After my father’s death last year she has become so afraid of everything, maybe she has always been but I haven’t noticed.  But, still very defiant  and she tells me loudly ” I am not an old fart.” She wants to go shopping and walk by herself (refuses to take her walker) and tells strangers they are fat or old looking. Very inappropriate comments, nurses tell me she has no filters.  So our shopping outing  yesterday was quite an experience, my mom purchased some very blinging jewellery,  but I am grateful we are still able to share Mom and daughter time, and laugh hysterically at this slow decline into the “Golden Years.”

Happy thanksgiving Canada

October 6, 2019
by Roz
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Week 1 – Back in school

The Fall has arrived and with it, the Master key experience is unfolding for the brave ones who registered. Surely as the season’s change, we do too.
It is time to be back in school, binders, colored pencils, reading, oh the reading. It is a shock. How do I get myself organized? First, take a deep breath, sit quietly, and realize how lucky I am to be accepted.

I am thankful, blessed and truly grateful. I believe this my great new beginning. I realize this moment is all I have and I will make it count, I am confident I am shedding my old skin.

April 19, 2019
by Roz
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week 24 and beyond

Broken and Beautiful

It would be easy to call myself a failure. I, who value love above all things, have failed in my marriage of eight years. I am 30 and single for the first time since college. I am getting by, but my not-quite-two-year-old daughter has more money in her savings account than I have in mine. I am drawn towards friends who have other priorities, and I want more than they can give me. I am pining for the soulmate I’ve yet to meet. My heart is full of love, and I have no one to share it with but my young daughter who can only understand the edges of it right now. I am overweight (as I have been my whole life) and growing more and more gray hairs, and I frequently feel mediocre and unremarkable, despite my talents and passions. I don’t have a lot of hopes for career advancement because I have already arrived at my professional target, which is unfortunately in the rather underpaid nonprofit sector. I recently learned that I am the target of derisive gossip—by at least one member of my church, no less—and that people are sitting around speculating about my love life (or lack thereof). My friends are constantly warning me not to do anything that will cause me more heartache because they know how impulsive and openhearted and frankly foolhardy I tend to be. I have plenty of reasons to feel like a loser.

It would also be easy to call myself a success. I have recently been promoted to the job I’ve been working towards my entire career, and I’m doing very well in it. I’m handling responsibility in tough situations and have gained the trust and respect of my colleagues. I am using my musical talents to contribute to my community. I am a good mother who enjoys spending quality time with my beautiful daughter—even when she’s having one of her stubborn toddler days—and I feel that I have really learned to slow down and appreciate moments with her instead of always being in a hurry. I live a pretty sensible and responsible lifestyle, I spend lots of time with my friends who care about me, and I have the chance to do good things for the people I love. I am challenging myself to acquire new skills—like learning crossovers in my ice skating lessons—and there are many days when I feel truly happy when only a year ago that was rarely the case. I am smart and resilient and learning to live alone for the first time in my life, something I used to be terrified of but am handling remarkably well these days. I’ve been getting lots of compliments these days on everything from my appearance to my choir solo audition to my performance at work. I have plenty of reasons to feel pretty good about myself.

The truth is that I am both broken and beautiful. I fail sometimes and I succeed sometimes, but in the end I am simply me—a remarkable yet flawed creation of a loving and forgiving God. I am both a stumbling sinner and a saint walking in the light of God. I have doubts that bring me to my knees and faith that makes the sun shine brighter. I am full of love and sometimes fear, and I am well-known for both falling and stubbornly getting back up again. You can count on me to both despair in the night and sing with joy in the morning. Sometimes I shiver in the rain and sometimes I dance in it. I am weakness and strength, flesh and spirit. I will never be so broken that I am beyond God’s love or so beautiful that I do not need God’s mercy. I will never be such a failure that I am ashamed to look my friends in the eye or such a success that I think myself above them. I will just be one more person trying my best to follow God and use my gifts to His glory. One more girl trying to love and be loved. Sometimes I won’t succeed, but, oh, sometimes I will. And that hope is worth holding on to, no matter how many times my heart breaks. Praise be to the God who simultaneously humbles my pride and makes my scars lovely to behold.
POSTED BY KAYLA BERGER- I so feel this I am giving credit to Kayla for feeling my pain too.